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"Welcome to Noble Jury, where the philosophy is made up and the points don't matter.”
- Zaponator

Fan Quotes are just silly bullshit that a bunch of idiots in a chatroom come up with in their spare time.

 :ohboy: Edit

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Ohboy2

Easting Edit

  • Fourths: With all due respect, Ala, you are an adult and your opinion is meaningless.
  • Lowland: lions are mythological creatures that are half manticore, half griffon
  • Zaponator: well I eat balls for breakfast
  • Props: I might be gargling too hard.
  • Fourths: those who are not jurists are simply those of little kaizo
  • Fourths: we need a page on roarke's giant cybernetic dick
  • VNilla: Hello, changelings. Look at your Queen, now back to me, now back at your Queen, now back to me. Sadly, she isn't me, but if she started using Changeling Transformation Magic, she could look like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a palace balcony, with the gazelle your Queen could look like. What's in your hoof, back at me, I have it: It's the tattered scraps of your Queen's plans to sow misery across the land. Look again, the scraps are now an existential panic about knowing that your Queen and her sister Tchern might lose the war, dooming your race to extinction. However, everything might be better if your Queen looked like me and not a spooky bug thing. I'm not a horse.
  • Horse Police: i came here to try and budget for food and I ended being verbally abused and encouraged to have sexual relations with a tree
  • Props: In the manner of petticoats and manure.
  • Hap: my pasty white hairy jiggling ass
  • Alamais: WW3 will kick off with a lol and a poop emoji
  • Fourths: THE PICASSO OF NOODLES
  • Alamais: besides, I doubt youtube or spotify have fourths' french-egyptian arthouse techno-indie-punk-alt-trancehop
  • Fourths: that the dick would survive regardless
  • Zaid: Swan Song is actually a coalition of a dozen teenagers
  • Skirts: As I once told Pilate in person, I started writing Austraeoh because I was too lazy to get up, walk across my room, and boot up Skyrim.
  • Skirts: Slowly re-reading the last 70 chapters.  How can marsupials stand so many sound effects?
  • Nasty Mister Monket: "'The cowcolt shuddered.  He planted his hat back on his hat, then stood up.' And then he had two hats."

You see, Bard's hat is special because it's not just a hat, it's a magical amalgamation of many hats, known in the depths of Verlaxion's temples as The Hat Colossus. This is the key to his mysterious past: he's on the run after plundering this priceless magical artifact, which was long safeguarded by the most trusted of Rohbreddenites so no fool could be corrupted by the lust for infinite hats. Bard betrayed that trust, and now he is the most wanted pony on the entire Continent.

  • Fourths: eh
    Fourths: plane porn is p normal
  • Nevlamas: So they put little stickers on apples here in Germany to mark their country of origin.
    Nevlamas: Take a guess what I just ate half of without noticing.
    Alamais: ummm
    Alamais: chinese apple?
    Joseph: or Equestria
    Alamais: bolivia?
    Joseph: Atlantis?
    Joseph: Mars?
    Alamais: antarctica?
    Alamais: proxima centauri?
    Joseph: Parallel Earth?
    Alamais: large magellanic cluster?
    Joseph: Fourths?
    Alamais: Fourths?
    Joseph: Fourths?
    Fourths: the fuck
    Alamais: Fourths?
    Fourths: the fuck you want
  • Nevlamas: I ate the damn sticker is what I did.
  • "I like how nick and his dragon dildos is becoming a thing" —Relevant Heavy Metal
  • "I'm just a clownfish in an anemone enjoying all the free shit" —Archer, regarding Las Vegas
  • "I AM CLAM" —fourths
  • Alamais: Canada's dark with all that "the sun doesn't come up over the horizon for part of the year", in some cases.
    Hap: No, that's Alaska.
    Hap: That doesn't happen in Canada, because Canada is to the East of Alaska, which makes it closer to the sun.
  • Archer Collins wills his skin and blood to be used to scribe Austraeoh on event of his death
    Alamais: Archer-vellum?
    Gammahoof: archment
  • "You're Asian, that's like diet robots! D: <" —Nevlamas
  • Alamais: We just need a few immortals. Preferably horse-shaped ones with astronomical butt tattoos.
  • Zaponator: Mad Max made me want to climb onto the roof of a speeding car and shoot everyone around me
    Hap Funny. I get the same feel when I teach a math class.
  • Pilot: one fish, two fish
    Tweak: red fish, fuck you
  • kerapace: is there a good one-word descriptor for "suffering from PTSD"
    Blue Harvest: Detroit
  • Blue Harvest: I'm self-sexual.  I can only make love when I'm in the room.
  • Tweak: Everypony can remember Lyra, they're just ignoring her because she's being a pretentious twit
  • Cobalt Swirls: "These Chapter Names Are Long"
    Cobalt Swirls: ^Chapter 1
    silvadel: "These chapter names are very long" (for the 6 word ones)
    Cobalt Swirls: These chapter names are getting even longer
    Nevlamas: "Bloody hell these chapter titles have gotten way out of control now."
  • "Gentlemen screw ponies in proper bedrooms." —Nevlamas
  • "The integral of rainbow dash's velocity vector over all time has a large eastward component." —Alamais
  • Tchernobog: my kingdom for a real pony movie
    Tchernobog: or rather, twilight's kingdom for it hahaahaHAHAHAAHAHAHA
    Tchernobog: ...i'll show myself out.
  • Hap: I was a hipster for halloween last year
    Hap: also, a lumberjack
    Hap: The only difference was the toy axe
  • "It's just not thanksgiving without archer stuffed inside a turkey." —Alamais
  • "That is why magical reproduction between female ponies should be abolished... The defect rate is just far too high." —Silvadel
  • "Whatever time it is currently in your magical fakey fake portal kingdom of Germany, you need to wait til it's 3am and come back here and complain. You know, the proper way." —Arcshod
  • "But on the other hand, sleep is also a time-machine to breakfast." —Nick Ha
  • "If god isn't real, then how come she's a horse?" —Arcshod
  • [Context: http://i.imgur.com/vcZe8eA.jpg]
    Swan Song: Sorry C2
    Swan Song: I made a huge mistake
    Swan Song: here you go http://i.imgur.com/Az5xAtP.png
    Csquerade: ...Oh god
    Csquerade: That is amazing
    RazgrizS57: Give Scoots a vague reference to pilot
    Swan Song: I was tempted to
    Swan Song: but I couldn't think of anything.
    RazgrizS57: "The caffiene is kicking in!"
    Swan Song: Just like "aw shit vtec just kicked in yo"
    RazgrizS57: "I sure do love Rainbow Dash"
    RazgrizS57: "I should be working but I'm on Reddit instead"
    Swan Song: Nah guys I got this
    Swan Song: http://i.imgur.com/adADXG0.png
    RazgrizS57: pffft
    Csquerade: Pfffffffffffffffff
    Pirate: dick
    Pirate: out
    Pirate: jury membership revoked
    Pirate: leave
  • Alamais: Oh, and swan song is totally a little filly.
    Pirate: accepted
    Pirate: Swan Swong is spazzed out Sweeite Belle
    Nick Ha: Swong
    Alamais: Sweengy Bong
  • Floydien: I think "dicaprios" is my new favorite verb
    Arcshod: That's how it always works.
    Arcshod: Dicapritation confirmed for how Floydien dies in the story
  • "Now I won't be able to think of Sunset Shimmer without associating with delicious breakfast and becoming hungry." —Arcshod
  • "WHEW THAT WAS WONDERFUL. I am soaking wet." —Forestfeather
  • Pilot: skirts, what are you doing
    Pilot: get off that baby
  • Hap: Knowing your mom was half the battle.
    Hap: The other half was antibiotics :(
  • kmca779: Calling it now. The next boat is named Harmony
    Nevlamas: It shall sink.
    AppleLich: Nah, it will either 1) Disappear into time 2) Get donated to someone else
    Nevlamas: Or eaten.
    Nevlamas: I will return from the dead.
    Nevlamas: And I will eat your damn ship.
  • Hap: Today in physics, I heard this:
    Hap: "I had a fully elastic collision with your mom last night."
  • Arcshod: Scootaloo is an evolutionary dead end in all universes.
  • Arcshod: If the sun implodes and the world stops rotating, that might do a pretty good number both the good and the morning.
    Alamais: Celestiaaaaa!
    Alamais: maybe just the core could stop rotating, and then we'd have to send people to blow it up into rotating again... :F
  • "Divincest is wincest." —Arcshod
  • Arcshod: I need a good recipe for scones.
    Arcshod: Scones are amazing and I want some right now.
    Zaponator: what even goes in a scone?
    Zaponator: and do you even have it?
    Arcshod: Nobody knows, Zap, because afterwards it's scone quickly
    Zaponator: get out
  • silvadel: Hard to pull off correctly
    Alamais: so's your face, but we've already got nic cage unconscious, so we'll just have to give it a go
  • Zaponator: The best glitch I've had so far is when I took Preston to the old Paul Revere church place. He was so overcome with patriotism that his raised he arms above his head in a 'praise the sun' motion and didn't move a muscle for the next hour. He still followed me, gliding along the floor like he was riding on a Roomba. Even better was dialogue, where he would stare blankly ahead from between his arms, utterly motionless except for his lips.
  • "Fully actualized horse snogging." —Alamais
  • Alamais: The difference is that Russian women don't have periods, because Russians are just highly developed potatoes.
    RazgrizS57: You must drink Dimitry to absord his power, Ivan. Then you will be make of vodka for comrade. Every Russian stronger than last thanks to vodka, for all of Russia is within you."
  • RazgrizS57: You need to save up on your ejaculations so you can trade them for a baby
    RazgrizS57: the going rate for a baby right now is like 3.66 ejaculations
    Blue Harvest: that's 5.1 babies in Canada
  • Relevant Heavy Metal: son of a bitch, the aliens just killed katy perry
  • "...and really, if you put everything aside, beating up a bunch of children would be loads of fun! :D You'd feel like Jackie Chan or something!" --Zaponator
  • Nick Ha: [Verlax:] "I want to test you, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my people to that end. Oh, and on that note, you kinda fucked up in the Quade, yo."
    Alamais: "There was a button right there, Dash, you just had to solve a Rubik's Cube. WTF."
  • "I am a horsefucker. I fuck horses. I am the horse-fuckingest horsefucker who ever fucked a horse." —Alamais
  • Alamais: I've seen a few unskippable 10+ minute ads.  I don't even. Thankfully a reload changes the ad. What planet are these people from, where they that's a good idea?
    Zaponator: Planet bad-at-advertising
    Alamais: their tourism advertising bureau renamed the planet
  • Nevlamas: "Pasta Bake "Not Crunchy Enough": Son Ran Over Father With Family Car."
    Zaponator: I hate it when that happens
  • Arcshod: Janeway would have made it back to the alpha quadrant so much faster without Gilligan
  • Gammahoof: i'm allergic to ur face
    fourths: oh shit
    fourths: fuck
    fourths: shit
    fourths: fuck
    fourths: shit
    fourths: well
    fourths: me too
  • Alamais: I have affixed a gamma ray emitter to the back of my skull, so that my mind is always enlightened
    K.C.: and radioactive!
    Alamais: it tingles too
  • Nevlamas: Never charge a running giraffe!
    Hap: True! Always take cash from African wildlife. They are not to be trusted.
    00500005: Only accept cash from African wildlife. FTFY.
    Hap: No, I meant mug them.
  • Floydien: not feeling the whole "boobs" thing
  • fourths: please hold my hand ironically
    Sera: I don't think I ever stopped holding your hand
  • Monochromatic: He died because of pizza?

Herbs Edit

  • Zaponator: nods sagely
    Floydien: nods parsley
    Alamais: vibrates cilantroly
    Floydien: aw, you ruined it
    I was going for a Scarborough Fair thing
    :V
    Alamais: I ruined it, as is my charge
    True Madness: Ala had poor thyming
    Alamais: >_>
    Zaponator: ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)
    Floydien: I love it

Economics 00 Edit

  • Arcshod: http://i.imgur.com/caC36mI.gif
    Arcshod: Keep in mind, Equestria is a very old country, and language changes over centuries. "Bit" is technically a corruption of the word for the true currency.
    Arcshod: Stable currencies are backed by something of material value, and gold is pretty damn common in this land.
    Arcshod: The Equestrian Bit is backed by Equestrian butts.
    Nick Ha: So the value of a single Equestrian citizen's posterior is equal to that of one bit
    Nick Ha: and, technically, the fact that you have a bit entitles you to the ownership of some random pony's butt, somewhere, somehow
    Nick Ha: Is it the whole butt, or just a cheek?
    Gammahoof: no one said it was a 1:1 conversion
    Nick Ha: So you own pieces of a pony flank.
    Arcshod: Bits of butts
    Nick Ha: What if each time a pony got their cutie mark, they minted a bit with the pony's cutie mark stamped on the tails' side?
    Arcshod: Ah, Nick's got it now.
    Nick Ha: NEW FIC IDEA.
    Nick Ha: DO NOT STEAL.
    Nick Ha:: So the value of a single Equestrian citizen's posterior is equal to that of one bit
    lasairfion:Pinkie is rich
    lasairfion: But Celestia has the mostess
    Tchernobog: Princess Badonkadonk?
    lasairfion: So the question is: how many bits is that butt worth?
    Arcshod: Cherry Jubilee technically owned Applejack's ass for a while
    lasairfion: Might explain why Celestia never seems to need money wherever she goes
    lasairfion: and the cake
    Tchernobog: Celestia's butt is Equestria's GDP
    Arcshod: Oh my god. She just eats a lot of cake, then empties the treasury to buy more cake.
    Arcshod: Self-healing economy.
    lasairfion: so rather than fiat money.. it's diet money?
    Tchernobog: "Empties the treasury"
    Tchernobog: Her ass is the treasury
    Tchernobog: That's not a nice mental image
    lasairfion: Might also explain why pinkie can afford all her party gear - she probably supplies all the cake that keeps the economy ticking over
    lasairfion: Mrs Cake must be loaded. She's got assets on both fronts
    Tchernobog: ass-ets
    Nick Ha: This
    Nick Ha: fucking
    Nick Ha: convo
    Alamais: lel
    Ridayah: It’s down below the belt.
    lasairfion: You're just jealous that your butt can't afford the change for a Black Forest
    Alamais: something something, Celestia's bed, economic stimulus
    Gammahoof: something something inflation

Blue Harvest Reveals Himself Edit

Reignbow: Update!
Blue Harvest: really?
Reignbow: Yeah, but not for austraeoh
Blue Harvest: oh
pilot: update complete
Blue Harvest: for realz?
Reignbow: Uh, shit?
Reignbow: Is she dead?
Reignbow: so what say you? The end?
Blue Harvest: seems like the end to me
pilot: it says complete
Reignbow: wow
pilot: chapter name is story name
pilot: QED
pilot: er, alone
pilot: oops
Reignbow: I wonder if there's a sequel
pilot: eyes, betray me
Blue Harvest: was it worth staying up for lulz
Reignbow: Right now, I'm leaning towards dissappointed with the story. So long spent reading trying to figure out what's going on. So many loose ends that should have been explained. Then she dies.
Reignbow: Idk what to think right now
Blue Harvest: well it was a fun adventure I guess
Blue Harvest: then dragons happened
pilot: maybe we should have been more optimistic
Reignbow: No shit
Blue Harvest: what does that mean?
pilot: if we had all said "yeah, she'll totally survive" then she would have
Reignbow: Honest answers. Am I the only one not satisfied with this?
pilot: nope
pilot: but we never could be
pilot: scope is too large
Blue Harvest: you thikn IC really takes that stuff into acount?
pilot: On 10/19/12, at 2:27 AM, Blue Harvest wrote: you thikn IC really takes that stuff into acount?

maybe, maybe not

Reignbow: He could easily do it with a sequel. Else, why bother making the scope that big, if you just leave it hanging
Blue Harvest: would a sequel be a good idea?
Reignbow: It's like he took the story, cut it in half, and tied it up to that point.
Blue Harvest: maybe it's like the end of a season
Blue Harvest: ever watched smallville lulz
Reignbow: Ok, lets review. the worlds ending for unknown reasons, we have hints at some grand machine thats stopping, and so much more...
Reignbow: I mean, I guess it really could be considered finished if all he ever wanted was aa story about the journey rather than the conclusion
Reignbow: I mean it all fits, maybe he wanted her to die and we assume that it all ends.
Blue Harvest: I wanna know what pilate thinks he always has good things to say lulz
Reignbow: I really hope he didn't just head to bed after he finished
Blue Harvest: rage sleep?
Reignbow: Pilot?!! You there?
Reignbow: fml
Reignbow: Well, this story fucked closure over. i'm beginning to regret starting it. I think I'm just gonna rage-sleep now myself
Blue Harvest: where's Pilatttte
Reignbow: Well, optimistic side, with the way he's been posting his stories, if he's doing a sequel it will be up within a couple days
Blue Harvest: makes sense to me
Reignbow: Here's hoping
Reignbow: Anywho, g'nite. I'm gonna go feel depressed (not really)
Blue Harvest: good luck at work lulz
Reignbow: haha. Was it worth it? Thats the question
Blue Harvest: I'm still hoping Pilot shows up before you sleep
Reignbow: thanks -_-
Reignbow: why?
Blue Harvest: Eh, I guess it could wait
Reignbow: fuck it, Ill wait 10 more. maybe hes doing a bathroom break
Blue Harvest: flushing away all his tears
Reignbow: But yeah, his opinion would be interesting
Reignbow: he generally calls it right, it seems
Reignbow: Maybe... he's the author? Bum Bum BUUUUUM...
pilot: wut
pilot: sorry
pilot: was editing my comment
Blue Harvest: There you are
Reignbow: goddammit!
pilot: what did you need?
Blue Harvest: Could I ask you two something?
pilot: sure
Blue Harvest: What if I told you that not only is Austraeoh going to have a sequel, but it's been in planning to end like this and lead off into the next installment for months now?
pilot: i'd believe it
Reignbow: Ah shit, blues IC
Blue Harvest: Good. Then wait a few days. And Pilate, you're gonna be a zebra.
Blue Harvest: Cuz I'm horrible at keeping secrets
Blue Harvest: f'naaaaaaaaaaaaa
pilot: hahaha
pilot: epic
Reignbow: f'naaa?
pilot: nothin' man
pilot: hahaha
Reignbow: Take pity on me
pilot: so BH was IC
pilot: who is SSE
pilot: and was in the chat the whole night
pilot: and has been for a while
pilot: while updating every chapter
Reignbow: If BH is IC, I'll eat my sock
Reignbow: If IC posts that, i'll buy a freakin camera and film it...
pilot: i knew something was off about him
pilot: thought he was just a kid at first, reading his comments again though
pilot: oh man
pilot: i'm dying of laughter
Reignbow: You can't be serious?
pilot: i chose to belive it regardless
pilot: because it's much more fun that way
Reignbow: I choose to not believe it, because i don't want to eat my sock.
Reignbow: looking back though, BH wasn't exactly the most talkative of the group
pilot: nope
pilot: and he kept goading you
Reignbow: with strange timing
Reignbow: goading?
Reignbow: I think you all goad me.
Reignbow: But I don't see anything specific from him
pilot: he was asking if a sequel would be a good diea
pilot: idea*
pilot: kept questioning you about the end
Reignbow: SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Fimfic Message
Reignbow: Imploding Colon: I hope it's a tasty sock.
Reignbow: FUCK YOU TO BUD!!!!

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