|"Welcome to Noble Jury, where the philosophy is made up and the points don't matter.”|
Fan Quotes are just silly bullshit that a bunch of idiots in a chatroom come up with in their spare time.
- harpseal2: An Austraeoh walks into a bar. She asks for a scotch.
The bartender says "Why the long chapters?"
- Fourths: With all due respect, Ala, you are an adult and your opinion is meaningless.
- Lowland: lions are mythological creatures that are half manticore, half griffon
- Zaponator: well I eat balls for breakfast
- Props: I might be gargling too hard.
- Fourths: those who are not jurists are simply those of little kaizo
- Fourths: we need a page on roarke's giant cybernetic dick
- VNilla: Hello, changelings. Look at your Queen, now back to me, now back at your Queen, now back to me. Sadly, she isn't me, but if she started using Changeling Transformation Magic, she could look like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a palace balcony, with the gazelle your Queen could look like. What's in your hoof, back at me, I have it: It's the tattered scraps of your Queen's plans to sow misery across the land. Look again, the scraps are now an existential panic about knowing that your Queen and her sister Tchern might lose the war, dooming your race to extinction. However, everything might be better if your Queen looked like me and not a spooky bug thing. I'm not a horse.
- Horse Police: i came here to try and budget for food and I ended being verbally abused and encouraged to have sexual relations with a tree
- Props: In the manner of petticoats and manure.
- Hap: my pasty white hairy jiggling ass
- Alamais: WW3 will kick off with a lol and a poop emoji
- Fourths: THE PICASSO OF NOODLES
- Alamais: besides, I doubt youtube or spotify have fourths' french-egyptian arthouse techno-indie-punk-alt-trancehop
- Fourths: that the dick would survive regardless
- Zaid: Swan Song is actually a coalition of a dozen teenagers
- Skirts: As I once told Pilate in person, I started writing Austraeoh because I was too lazy to get up, walk across my room, and boot up Skyrim.
- Skirts: Slowly re-reading the last 70 chapters. How can marsupials stand so many sound effects?
- Nasty Mister Monket: "'The cowcolt shuddered. He planted his hat back on his hat, then stood up.' And then he had two hats."
You see, Bard's hat is special because it's not just a hat, it's a magical amalgamation of many hats, known in the depths of Verlaxion's temples as The Hat Colossus. This is the key to his mysterious past: he's on the run after plundering this priceless magical artifact, which was long safeguarded by the most trusted of Rohbreddenites so no fool could be corrupted by the lust for infinite hats. Bard betrayed that trust, and now he is the most wanted pony on the entire Continent.
- Fourths: eh
Fourths: plane porn is p normal
- Nevlamas: So they put little stickers on apples here in Germany to mark their country of origin.
Nevlamas: Take a guess what I just ate half of without noticing.
Alamais: chinese apple?
Joseph: or Equestria
Alamais: proxima centauri?
Joseph: Parallel Earth?
Alamais: large magellanic cluster?
Fourths: the fuck
Fourths: the fuck you want
- Nevlamas: I ate the damn sticker is what I did.
- "I like how nick and his dragon dildos is becoming a thing" —Relevant Heavy Metal
- "I'm just a clownfish in an anemone enjoying all the free shit" —Archer, regarding Las Vegas
- "I AM CLAM" —fourths
- Alamais: Canada's dark with all that "the sun doesn't come up over the horizon for part of the year", in some cases.
Hap: No, that's Alaska.
Hap: That doesn't happen in Canada, because Canada is to the East of Alaska, which makes it closer to the sun.
- Archer Collins wills his skin and blood to be used to scribe Austraeoh on event of his death
- "You're Asian, that's like diet robots! D: <" —Nevlamas
- Alamais: We just need a few immortals. Preferably horse-shaped ones with astronomical butt tattoos.
- Zaponator: Mad Max made me want to climb onto the roof of a speeding car and shoot everyone around me
Hap Funny. I get the same feel when I teach a math class.
- Pilot: one fish, two fish
Tweak: red fish, fuck you
- kerapace: is there a good one-word descriptor for "suffering from PTSD"
Blue Harvest: Detroit
- Blue Harvest: I'm self-sexual. I can only make love when I'm in the room.
- Tweak: Everypony can remember Lyra, they're just ignoring her because she's being a pretentious twit
- Cobalt Swirls: "These Chapter Names Are Long"
Cobalt Swirls: ^Chapter 1
silvadel: "These chapter names are very long" (for the 6 word ones)
Cobalt Swirls: These chapter names are getting even longer
Nevlamas: "Bloody hell these chapter titles have gotten way out of control now."
- "Gentlemen screw ponies in proper bedrooms." —Nevlamas
- "The integral of rainbow dash's velocity vector over all time has a large eastward component." —Alamais
- Tchernobog: my kingdom for a real pony movie
Tchernobog: or rather, twilight's kingdom for it hahaahaHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Tchernobog: ...i'll show myself out.
- Hap: I was a hipster for halloween last year
Hap: also, a lumberjack
Hap: The only difference was the toy axe
- "It's just not thanksgiving without archer stuffed inside a turkey." —Alamais
- "That is why magical reproduction between female ponies should be abolished... The defect rate is just far too high." —Silvadel
- "Whatever time it is currently in your magical fakey fake portal kingdom of Germany, you need to wait til it's 3am and come back here and complain. You know, the proper way." —Arcshod
- "But on the other hand, sleep is also a time-machine to breakfast." —Nick Ha
- "If god isn't real, then how come she's a horse?" —Arcshod
- [Context: http://i.imgur.com/vcZe8eA.jpg]
Swan Song: Sorry C2
Swan Song: I made a huge mistake
Swan Song: here you go http://i.imgur.com/Az5xAtP.png
Csquerade: ...Oh god
Csquerade: That is amazing
RazgrizS57: Give Scoots a vague reference to pilot
Swan Song: I was tempted to
Swan Song: but I couldn't think of anything.
RazgrizS57: "The caffiene is kicking in!"
Swan Song: Just like "aw shit vtec just kicked in yo"
RazgrizS57: "I sure do love Rainbow Dash"
RazgrizS57: "I should be working but I'm on Reddit instead"
Swan Song: Nah guys I got this
Swan Song: http://i.imgur.com/adADXG0.png
Pirate: jury membership revoked
- Alamais: Oh, and swan song is totally a little filly.
Pirate: Swan Swong is spazzed out Sweeite Belle
Nick Ha: Swong
Alamais: Sweengy Bong
- Floydien: I think "dicaprios" is my new favorite verb
Arcshod: That's how it always works.
Arcshod: Dicapritation confirmed for how Floydien dies in the story
- "Now I won't be able to think of Sunset Shimmer without associating with delicious breakfast and becoming hungry." —Arcshod
- "WHEW THAT WAS WONDERFUL. I am soaking wet." —Forestfeather
- Pilot: skirts, what are you doing
Pilot: get off that baby
- Hap: Knowing your mom was half the battle.
Hap: The other half was antibiotics :(
- kmca779: Calling it now. The next boat is named Harmony
Nevlamas: It shall sink.
AppleLich: Nah, it will either 1) Disappear into time 2) Get donated to someone else
Nevlamas: Or eaten.
Nevlamas: I will return from the dead.
Nevlamas: And I will eat your damn ship.
- Hap: Today in physics, I heard this:
Hap: "I had a fully elastic collision with your mom last night."
- Arcshod: Scootaloo is an evolutionary dead end in all universes.
- Arcshod: If the sun implodes and the world stops rotating, that might do a pretty good number both the good and the morning.
Alamais: maybe just the core could stop rotating, and then we'd have to send people to blow it up into rotating again... :F
- "Divincest is wincest." —Arcshod
- Arcshod: I need a good recipe for scones.
Arcshod: Scones are amazing and I want some right now.
Zaponator: what even goes in a scone?
Zaponator: and do you even have it?
Arcshod: Nobody knows, Zap, because afterwards it's scone quickly
Zaponator: get out
- silvadel: Hard to pull off correctly
Alamais: so's your face, but we've already got nic cage unconscious, so we'll just have to give it a go
- Zaponator: The best glitch I've had so far is when I took Preston to the old Paul Revere church place. He was so overcome with patriotism that his raised he arms above his head in a 'praise the sun' motion and didn't move a muscle for the next hour. He still followed me, gliding along the floor like he was riding on a Roomba. Even better was dialogue, where he would stare blankly ahead from between his arms, utterly motionless except for his lips.
- "Fully actualized horse snogging." —Alamais
- Alamais: The difference is that Russian women don't have periods, because Russians are just highly developed potatoes.
RazgrizS57: You must drink Dimitry to absord his power, Ivan. Then you will be make of vodka for comrade. Every Russian stronger than last thanks to vodka, for all of Russia is within you."
- RazgrizS57: You need to save up on your ejaculations so you can trade them for a baby
RazgrizS57: the going rate for a baby right now is like 3.66 ejaculations
Blue Harvest: that's 5.1 babies in Canada
- Relevant Heavy Metal: son of a bitch, the aliens just killed katy perry
- "...and really, if you put everything aside, beating up a bunch of children would be loads of fun! :D You'd feel like Jackie Chan or something!" --Zaponator
- Nick Ha: [Verlax:] "I want to test you, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my people to that end. Oh, and on that note, you kinda fucked up in the Quade, yo."
Alamais: "There was a button right there, Dash, you just had to solve a Rubik's Cube. WTF."
- "I am a horsefucker. I fuck horses. I am the horse-fuckingest horsefucker who ever fucked a horse." —Alamais
- Alamais: I've seen a few unskippable 10+ minute ads. I don't even. Thankfully a reload changes the ad. What planet are these people from, where they that's a good idea?
Zaponator: Planet bad-at-advertising
Alamais: their tourism advertising bureau renamed the planet
- Nevlamas: "Pasta Bake "Not Crunchy Enough": Son Ran Over Father With Family Car."
Zaponator: I hate it when that happens
- Arcshod: Janeway would have made it back to the alpha quadrant so much faster without Gilligan
- Gammahoof: i'm allergic to ur face
fourths: oh shit
fourths: me too
- Alamais: I have affixed a gamma ray emitter to the back of my skull, so that my mind is always enlightened
K.C.: and radioactive!
Alamais: it tingles too
- Nevlamas: Never charge a running giraffe!
Hap: True! Always take cash from African wildlife. They are not to be trusted.
00500005: Only accept cash from African wildlife. FTFY.
Hap: No, I meant mug them.
- Floydien: not feeling the whole "boobs" thing
- fourths: please hold my hand ironically
Sera: I don't think I ever stopped holding your hand
- Monochromatic: He died because of pizza?
- Zaponator: nods sagely
Floydien: nods parsley
Alamais: vibrates cilantroly
Floydien: aw, you ruined it
I was going for a Scarborough Fair thing
Alamais: I ruined it, as is my charge
True Madness: Ala had poor thyming
Floydien: I love it
Economics 00 Edit
- Arcshod: http://i.imgur.com/caC36mI.gif
Arcshod: Keep in mind, Equestria is a very old country, and language changes over centuries. "Bit" is technically a corruption of the word for the true currency.
Arcshod: Stable currencies are backed by something of material value, and gold is pretty damn common in this land.
Arcshod: The Equestrian Bit is backed by Equestrian butts.
Nick Ha: So the value of a single Equestrian citizen's posterior is equal to that of one bit
Nick Ha: and, technically, the fact that you have a bit entitles you to the ownership of some random pony's butt, somewhere, somehow
Nick Ha: Is it the whole butt, or just a cheek?
Gammahoof: no one said it was a 1:1 conversion
Nick Ha: So you own pieces of a pony flank.
Arcshod: Bits of butts
Nick Ha: What if each time a pony got their cutie mark, they minted a bit with the pony's cutie mark stamped on the tails' side?
Arcshod: Ah, Nick's got it now.
Nick Ha: NEW FIC IDEA.
Nick Ha: DO NOT STEAL.
Nick Ha:: So the value of a single Equestrian citizen's posterior is equal to that of one bit
lasairfion:Pinkie is rich
lasairfion: But Celestia has the mostess
Tchernobog: Princess Badonkadonk?
lasairfion: So the question is: how many bits is that butt worth?
Arcshod: Cherry Jubilee technically owned Applejack's ass for a while
lasairfion: Might explain why Celestia never seems to need money wherever she goes
lasairfion: and the cake
Tchernobog: Celestia's butt is Equestria's GDP
Arcshod: Oh my god. She just eats a lot of cake, then empties the treasury to buy more cake.
Arcshod: Self-healing economy.
lasairfion: so rather than fiat money.. it's diet money?
Tchernobog: "Empties the treasury"
Tchernobog: Her ass is the treasury
Tchernobog: That's not a nice mental image
lasairfion: Might also explain why pinkie can afford all her party gear - she probably supplies all the cake that keeps the economy ticking over
lasairfion: Mrs Cake must be loaded. She's got assets on both fronts
Nick Ha: This
Nick Ha: fucking
Nick Ha: convo
Ridayah: It’s down below the belt.
lasairfion: You're just jealous that your butt can't afford the change for a Black Forest
Alamais: something something, Celestia's bed, economic stimulus
Gammahoof: something something inflation
Blue Harvest Reveals Himself Edit
- Reignbow: Update!
- Blue Harvest: really?
- Reignbow: Yeah, but not for austraeoh
- Blue Harvest: oh
- pilot: update complete
- Blue Harvest: for realz?
- Reignbow: Uh, shit?
- Reignbow: Is she dead?
- Reignbow: so what say you? The end?
- Blue Harvest: seems like the end to me
- pilot: it says complete
- Reignbow: wow
- pilot: chapter name is story name
- pilot: QED
- pilot: er, alone
- pilot: oops
- Reignbow: I wonder if there's a sequel
- pilot: eyes, betray me
- Blue Harvest: was it worth staying up for lulz
- Reignbow: Right now, I'm leaning towards dissappointed with the story. So long spent reading trying to figure out what's going on. So many loose ends that should have been explained. Then she dies.
- Reignbow: Idk what to think right now
- Blue Harvest: well it was a fun adventure I guess
- Blue Harvest: then dragons happened
- pilot: maybe we should have been more optimistic
- Reignbow: No shit
- Blue Harvest: what does that mean?
- pilot: if we had all said "yeah, she'll totally survive" then she would have
- Reignbow: Honest answers. Am I the only one not satisfied with this?
- pilot: nope
- pilot: but we never could be
- pilot: scope is too large
- Blue Harvest: you thikn IC really takes that stuff into acount?
- pilot: On 10/19/12, at 2:27 AM, Blue Harvest wrote: you thikn IC really takes that stuff into acount?
maybe, maybe not
- Reignbow: He could easily do it with a sequel. Else, why bother making the scope that big, if you just leave it hanging
- Blue Harvest: would a sequel be a good idea?
- Reignbow: It's like he took the story, cut it in half, and tied it up to that point.
- Blue Harvest: maybe it's like the end of a season
- Blue Harvest: ever watched smallville lulz
- Reignbow: Ok, lets review. the worlds ending for unknown reasons, we have hints at some grand machine thats stopping, and so much more...
- Reignbow: I mean, I guess it really could be considered finished if all he ever wanted was aa story about the journey rather than the conclusion
- Reignbow: I mean it all fits, maybe he wanted her to die and we assume that it all ends.
- Blue Harvest: I wanna know what pilate thinks he always has good things to say lulz
- Reignbow: I really hope he didn't just head to bed after he finished
- Blue Harvest: rage sleep?
- Reignbow: Pilot?!! You there?
- Reignbow: fml
- Reignbow: Well, this story fucked closure over. i'm beginning to regret starting it. I think I'm just gonna rage-sleep now myself
- Blue Harvest: where's Pilatttte
- Reignbow: Well, optimistic side, with the way he's been posting his stories, if he's doing a sequel it will be up within a couple days
- Blue Harvest: makes sense to me
- Reignbow: Here's hoping
- Reignbow: Anywho, g'nite. I'm gonna go feel depressed (not really)
- Blue Harvest: good luck at work lulz
- Reignbow: haha. Was it worth it? Thats the question
- Blue Harvest: I'm still hoping Pilot shows up before you sleep
- Reignbow: thanks -_-
- Reignbow: why?
- Blue Harvest: Eh, I guess it could wait
- Reignbow: fuck it, Ill wait 10 more. maybe hes doing a bathroom break
- Blue Harvest: flushing away all his tears
- Reignbow: But yeah, his opinion would be interesting
- Reignbow: he generally calls it right, it seems
- Reignbow: Maybe... he's the author? Bum Bum BUUUUUM...
- pilot: wut
- pilot: sorry
- pilot: was editing my comment
- Blue Harvest: There you are
- Reignbow: goddammit!
- pilot: what did you need?
- Blue Harvest: Could I ask you two something?
- pilot: sure
- Blue Harvest: What if I told you that not only is Austraeoh going to have a sequel, but it's been in planning to end like this and lead off into the next installment for months now?
- pilot: i'd believe it
- Reignbow: Ah shit, blues IC
- Blue Harvest: Good. Then wait a few days. And Pilate, you're gonna be a zebra.
- Blue Harvest: Cuz I'm horrible at keeping secrets
- Blue Harvest: f'naaaaaaaaaaaaa
- pilot: hahaha
- pilot: epic
- Reignbow: f'naaa?
- pilot: nothin' man
- pilot: hahaha
- Reignbow: Take pity on me
- pilot: so BH was IC
- pilot: who is SSE
- pilot: and was in the chat the whole night
- pilot: and has been for a while
- pilot: while updating every chapter
- Reignbow: If BH is IC, I'll eat my sock
- Reignbow: If IC posts that, i'll buy a freakin camera and film it...
- pilot: i knew something was off about him
- pilot: thought he was just a kid at first, reading his comments again though
- pilot: oh man
- pilot: i'm dying of laughter
- Reignbow: You can't be serious?
- pilot: i chose to belive it regardless
- pilot: because it's much more fun that way
- Reignbow: I choose to not believe it, because i don't want to eat my sock.
- Reignbow: looking back though, BH wasn't exactly the most talkative of the group
- pilot: nope
- pilot: and he kept goading you
- Reignbow: with strange timing
- Reignbow: goading?
- Reignbow: I think you all goad me.
- Reignbow: But I don't see anything specific from him
- pilot: he was asking if a sequel would be a good diea
- pilot: idea*
- pilot: kept questioning you about the end
- Reignbow: SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Fimfic Message
- Reignbow: Imploding Colon: I hope it's a tasty sock.
- Reignbow: FUCK YOU TO BUD!!!!